When you have tons of time on your hands, sometimes you don’t want to spend all that time alone. It is all too easy to want to shut your brain off and isolate at home, especially when you have introvert tendencies. I decided that I didn’t want to spend all my time with puppy c at home today. My stomach is giving me issues but I craved connection, even if it was being in a coffee shop, on my own. The stimulation of people around me would maybe provide enough connection for today.
I’m currently sitting at my local Starbucks (which is sacrilege to my coffee snobbery, but I have a Starbucks card and I’m trying to save monies. So sue me. But I have to admit that a soy latte with one pump hazelnut is actually quite yummy. It’s because they use vanilla soy milk. Ugh, I digress.).
Where was I? Oh right, I’m at Starbucks. There weren’t any available tables when I first walked in, but when one opened up, a man in a suit and I were both eyeing it. I was technically first in line to get a table, but I offered to share the table with him.
“No thanks, I’m waiting for a client so we need our own table.”
Later on, someone asked to take the other chair at my table.
Shortly thereafter, an Asian girl brought over a chair and asked if she could share the table with me. She said she’d be quiet, but I didn’t mind at all. She was in her laptop the entire time, and I was on my iPad. No conversation was exchanged during the time we shared the table. She left without a word or a glance.
That last strike made me sad. Even at the end of us sharing a table, I craved some sense of connection, even if it was a mere acknowledgement of thanks. I guess I can’t expect much from people, and I’m overly sensitive right now. But if vulnerability in one’s life can lead to connection, interactions such as the strike three example kind of discourage me to be open with people. Albeit, this girl was a stranger. I can’t expect connection with everyone — it’s just not possible.
Connection is something I will always crave, but I especially want it today. It is attainable, but maybe it’s just a little more difficult in this technologically saturated world. When you do feel intensely connected with someone, cherish it and work at it even more.