I joined a neighborhood group on Facebook yesterday. It’s for the neighborhood that my impending coffee shop will be in, and there are already people judging and “skeptical” about something they haven’t even given a chance. I take it personally because they don’t know MY hard work behind it. But you can’t please everyone, and I’ve got to grow a thicker skin in this process. I think I’ll stop looking at the group from now on, just for my people-pleasing tendencies & sanity’s sake.

my reeling brainz.

Wow, my last post was over seven months ago? Dang. Every time I re-read posts, I get this urge to update my blog and yet I can’t wrap my head around what’s happening in my life. Also, every time I log into my WordPress, I check my spammy comments. Today’s count? 97,000. Word to the wise: just email or text me if you have a comment about today’s post because there’s no way that I’ll ever receive it here.

Okay, enough of this ^. This post won’t even attempt to wrap my head around anything. Just the thoughts of my fickle heart, and a reeling brainz.

I quit my full time job on August 31, 2014.
That was the second time in my life that I quit a job voluntarily.
I am opening a coffee shop. In two weeks. Hopefully.
I am overwhelmed & jazzed. It is already a beautiful space.

From September 1, 2014 through today (February 16, 2015), I have focused on rest, taking care of myself, and mending/cherishing relationships.

I’ve learned to lean into God. Wholly and truly.
He has shown me grace over and over and over again.
He is good, despite my wandering heart and temporary circumstances.
He is good.

Community has shown up in real and tangible and unforgettable ways.
I feel lifted up, encouraged, blessed, motivated, inspired.
We are truly meant to live in community.
As anti-social as I allow myself to be, I know in my heart of hearts that community is good.

God is good. I got to go to church again. It was a weird readjustment, but I am thankful that I actually have the time and opportunity to attend a worship service on the Sabbath. What a rare and missed gift.

In addition to the Sabbath, I cherished weekends during my time off. Weekends when friends were actually available to hang out. Weekends when I wasn’t exhausted. Again, what a rare gift that we so take advantage of.

My old boss told me a few weeks ago that I’ll learn a lot about myself professionally but also personally as I start my own business. That makes me excited, overwhelmed, scared…but mostly excited.

It feels very surreal to be at this point in my life.

I have never been so money-stressed in my life.

But at the same time, I have never felt this much gratitude and love. I’ve been shown much apparent grace and favor…how could I not be thankful?

“…this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him.” John 9:3
May that be true…may that be true.