“I define vulnerability as uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. With that definition in mind, let’s think about love. Waking up every day and loving someone who may or may not love us back, whose safety we can’t ensure, who may stay in our lives or may leave without a moment’s notice, who may be loyal to the day they die or betray us tomorrow–that’s vulnerability. Love is uncertain. It’s incredibly risky. And loving someone leaves us emotionally exposed. Yes, it’s scary and yes, we’re open to being hurt, but can you imagine your life without loving or being loved?
To put our art, our writing, our photography, our ideas out into the world with no assurance of acceptance or appreciation–that’s also vulnerability. To let ourselves sink into the joyful moments of our lives even though we know that they are fleeting, even though the world tells us not to be too happy lest we invite disaster–that’s an intense form of vulnerability.”
“Same Love” by Macklemore with Ryan Lewis feat. Mary Lambert has some crazy legit lyrics. Speaks truth.
“When I was at church they taught me something else
If you preach hate at the service those words aren’t anointed
That holy water that you soak in has been poisoned
When everyone else is more comfortable remaining voiceless
Rather than fighting for humans that have had their rights stolen
I might not be the same, but that’s not important
No freedom till we’re equal, damn right I support it”
Tough week. Yesterday, an acquaintance of mine said he was praying for me. How unexpected, wonderful, and kind. Kindness prevails, grace abounds.
How long does one wait around? Impatience is a hard thing to deal with, and I’ve had some tough lessons with it this year. Good things come to those who wait…and He who started a good work in you will carry it through to completion. I really do believe these statements.
So what do I do? Do I give it a few more days? A week? A few months? When it comes to matters of the heart, it’s hard to say. I don’t want to be clinging on for too long…otherwise, the sadness that overwhelms me at times is just too much to bear. The happiness I feel overshadows the sadness some of the time. Other times, I have to allow myself to be sadpants. I have to. Otherwise, I’m not keeping it real with myself. I’m not loving myself.
Good thing it was the first day of summer yesterday. I can’t really stand this June gloom anymore.
I am so tired of entitled bitches. I try to live my life by treating mean individuals with fairness (“kill them with kindness”) but in certain cases, attitude begets attitude. SIGH!
The other night, I had the great pleasure of coordinating a super fantastic art deco-themed wedding. My friend, J, is one of the most organized wedding planners out there. I love, love, love working with her. Despite the slight hiccup in the morning when a homeless person stole some of our belongings inside a Catholic church, the day went pretty smoothly. I loved the reception venue, Noor Restaurant, and at the end of the night, I made sure to thank the waitstaff. The co-captain of their team said that it was the first time a coordinator has ever thanked her staff.
…wow. That made my heart swell. Bad days will come, but good days overshadow the bad days these days by miles and miles. I know I’m doing something right with my life.
On a super amazing (narcissistic) and positive endnote, some of my favorite places to eat in LA are now following me on the Twitters and Instagram!!! I feel kind of cool. Holler @CoolhausLA, @link_n_hops, and @55_degreewine!!!!
As much as I’m a direct person myself, I can only take other people’s frankness to a certain point. Past that threshold, I take it personally and offensively. Because even though you’re telling me how YOU operate, you’re saying MY way ain’t cutting it.
Maybe I just need a few more years of jadedness. Or a bigger heart.