“I write about the power of trying, because I want to be okay with failing. I write about generosity because I battle selfishness. I write about joy because I know sorrow. I write about faith because I almost lost mine, and I know what it is to be broken and in need of redemption. I write about gratitude because I am thankful – for all of it.” – Kristin Armstrong
Saturdays are the hardest. I was so drained today that I took a two hour nap. It’s a wonder that I used to have Saturdays free/available all the time just three years ago…
You are deeply known.
You are deeply loved.
If you only knew. Let’s walk with Jesus togethers.
My friend who kindly gave me a ride to pick up my rental car said, “Man, you cannot catch a break.”
And with that, I agree, and I say: “Eff you, AT&T and Time Warner Cable.”
Sigh, I feel dejected.
Today’s been the slowest business day for us at my little coffee shop. Families are on spring break and it’s hot as a mofo out there. The slowness is a-okay because this reflects life, right? I’ve been go, go, go for the past three months. I’m grateful for the extra time to sit down, send emails, and just to slow down myself. Slow and steady wins the race, but I think slow and steady sometimes means you’re winning at life.
Last night, I heard a huge BOOOOOOM outside my house.
A girl had slammed into my parked car. Right in front of my house. She lost control of her vehicle because she wanted to pick up her falling ice cream cone. Why? WHY. WHY WERE YOU DRIVING THAT FAST?
She was a crying, hot mess because she had just picked up her car from the auto body shop that same day. Her car was totaled but so was mine. I was very zen because…why escalate the situation? Thank God I wasn’t in the car, but my body tensed up from the situation. I had a nosebleed shortly thereafter just from the stressful situation that it was. It’s not the first time someone’s ran into my parked car, and my poor car has been rear ended before. My entire back seat was drenched in cold brew coffee. The stink will never come out. And I lost that profit from this weekend. Seriously, #smallbizownerproblems. But immediately, these questions & thoughts ran through my head:
- Why is this happening to me right now? I just celebrated my monthiversary of my new business and this happens?!
- Where am I gonna find the time to deal with insurance?
- How am I gonna get to work?
- My poor car.
- This poor girl. A blubbering mess. She’s older than me and can’t hold her shit together.
- Why was she driving so fast on a quiet residential street?
- I am so tired.
My car might be a total loss. Poor Jean Lucques. You’ve been such a good car.
Things are of this world and luckily, I know that material things will come and go. And fortunately, I have the best sister in the world who helped me clean out my car and brought me to work today. Fortunately, I have the most wonderful friends who’ve already prayed for me and have offered such encouragement. If you pray, if you could please pray for the girl and her physical/mental health, for my mental health, and that the finances of this situation would be manageable…that would be beyond appreciated. Thank you.
Inspired by my friend’s revival of her own blog, I just felt the need to post on mine. It’s nice to write from time to time, and even if nobody freaking cares in the universe about what I write, at least I have a record of what I felt/knew/learned in this particular season of life.
Today’s life lesson is quick: refuse to let toxic people ruin my day, enter my life, attack me, and take advantage of me.
It is so hard to love broken people. Myself included. I had such an intense weekend, and loving people was hard to say the least. Someone attacked me emotionally/mentally and somewhat verbally, and it was at an inappropriate time and place. Because I’m so physically exhausted from launching a business, my emotions are crazy heightened and my threshold for bullshit is nil. And through this entire process, I realized that protecting myself–EXTENDING grace to myself–is necessary. I’m protecting myself, yes, and not extending grace to this particular person, yes. It’s hard. It was a hard weekend.
What I know in my heart of hearts is that Jesus walks alongside me. He holds my hand, grieves with me, and is my friend. And that is the beautiful Gospel truth.
I love the accapella version of the worship team at my church, but this is also a lovely version. The lyrics strike my heart. What a beautiful hymn of grace and the gospel.
Starting a business with family has its perks and its low points. Today, things blew up.
Must remind myself that needing space is not a bad thing. Just need time to cool down, and all will be well again.
I joined a neighborhood group on Facebook yesterday. It’s for the neighborhood that my impending coffee shop will be in, and there are already people judging and “skeptical” about something they haven’t even given a chance. I take it personally because they don’t know MY hard work behind it. But you can’t please everyone, and I’ve got to grow a thicker skin in this process. I think I’ll stop looking at the group from now on, just for my people-pleasing tendencies & sanity’s sake.